Recently, a pigeon has decided to try and setup a nest in my balcony roof. Of all the great places to make a home why does she choose my balcony. I am not anti-nature by any means but this pigeon has serious problems. She sprays my balcony like she's been eating Mexican burritos from a homemade stand that has been sitting in the sun all day (dodgy doner kebabs with extra chilli and garlic mayo, for my UK viewers). Imagine, if you will, someone shaking up a bottle of liquid paper with the lid open on my balcony. It's disgusting... and to top it off she even wakes me up in at 6 in the morning 'cooing' and flapping about like a maniac.
I've tried to shoo her away, oh god how I've tried. I've sprayed her with water, yelled at her, thrown a slipper at her but she keeps coming back. She is relentless like Jehova Witnesses on house call duty. I can see it in her beady eyes that she enjoys tormenting me. If her beak could smile I'm sure this winged rat would be grinning the whole time.
I just can't get rid of this pestulent harbinger of evil... I'm thinking of calling an exorcist.
Do you have a story of an evil pigeon or other pest? Please comment below.